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the 1st annual 2005 shanky music awards...

behold...

best album: tears for fears, everybody loves a happy ending

best rock band, duo or group: wilco

best male pop vocal: roland orzabal of tears for fears, last days on earth

best male hard rock vocal: trent reznor of nine inch nails, with teeth

best female pop vocal: sheryl crow, wildflower

best beatles bass line: paul mccartney, i want you (she's so heavy)

best pop vocal by a local group or duo: long story short, to whom it may concern

best synth lead from a local group or duo: through the sparks, man alive

best local drummer: josh cooper

best local guitarist: clint wells / jody nelson (tie)

best local keyboardist: james brangle

best local bassist: greg slamen

best local male singer/songwriter: (two way tie) jody nelson and ashby pate

best local female singer/songwriter: brittany painter

best local group or duo: through the sparks

local bands currently producing the most anticipated albums that have yet to be released: (three way tie) lunasect, long story short, the ashes

best local group or duo album cover: through the sparks, coin toss

worst local group or duo album cover: traumatide, this thing called life

best local hard rock group or duo: beitthemeans

most baddass show by a guy i'd never heard of until i watched him on stage: james hall

best local live venue: (two way tie) the nick / workplay

worst local live venue: superior grill

most impressive local band that has opened for a band i'm performing with in the past, but i hadn't actually seen perform yet, until last month: wild sweet orange

best beatles song outro: i want you (she's so heavy)

longest anticipated album release: bryan wilson, smile (36 years to complete)

most under-rated 80's band comeback: tears for fears

best 80's groove: prince, you got the look

best 80's hard rock band that i still nearly worship: van halen

best local singer/songwriter solo artist: (two way tie) duquette johnston and taylor hollingsworth

sexiest female vocal on a song that wasn't released in 2005: nina persson of the cardigans - erase/rewind

sexiest male vocal on a song that wasn't released in 2005: jeff buckley, witches' rave

most self-indulgent fucked up post-prog rock album that went totally over my head, but still managed to kick a lot of ass: the mars volta, frances the mute

sexiest album not released in 2005, but it might as well have been: zero 7, when it falls

most surprising artist at city stages, 2005: rachel yamagata

best live show in 2005: wilco at the alabama theatre, birmingham, alabama

best hard rock group or duo: queens of the stone age

most listened to "guilty pleasure" album: nine inch nails, with teeth

best classic rock band of 2005: fleetwood mac

best music documentary: moog (bob moog bio)

best music documentary re-release: the band, the last waltz

best quirky japanese artist remixed by a japanese dj, who's song i haven't been able to go more than a week without for the past 5 years: takako minekawa, plash... from the album fun9.

best dance remix album that wasn't released in 2005, but still kicks more ass than any dance remix album in history: the sneaker pimps, becoming remixed

best industrial album currently sitting in the sun-visor of my truck: nine inch nails, the downward spiral

most globally hyped band that i should really like, but i never really find myself listening to: (tie) radiohead and death cab for cutie

most over produced and uber-hyped mega-album of 2005: coldplay, x&y

worst album packaging of 2005: coldplay, x&y

band most "transferred via aol instant messenger" in order for me to "get into them": death cab for cutie

artist in the most dire need of earnest a&r /label guidance regarding the un-neccessary release of shitty songs on an otherwise decent record: ryan adams (this award was formerly given to the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as prince)

most surprising group or duo that i'm probably too old to be listening to, but i do anyway: eisley

least impressive, yet most hyped southern rock album: kings of leon, aha shake heartbreak

most hilarious lead singer: that blonde chic from i-nine

most telling sign that the rapture is upon us: ashlee simpson's "rawk video"

american idol that i'd most like to f&*k: kelly clarkson

american idol that would most likely want to f&*k me: clay aiken

american idol that i hung out with once: ruben studdard

american idol that the women at my law firm lust after the most: constantine maroulis

most disappointing solo venture, but i still adore the artist: gwen stefani

the 2005 band that kids are supposed to like, and buy the record, but in actuality... some of their songs kinda suck: the new pornographers (award formerly given to stereolab)

worst degradation of a hip-hop group that used to kinda kick ass, but now sucks really bad: the black eyed peas

most hyped pop album that sorta rocks, although it likely had zero input from the artist: madonna, confessions on the dance floor

most impressive music software of 2005: (two way tie) i-drum, nuendo v.3

most frustrating live music broadcast: live 8

coolest live reunion, via live 8: pink floyd

band most deserving of a lynyrd skynyrd-like plane crash in the woods: nickelback

most humbling myspace band email chat: ray manzerek of the doors

best male/female songwriting team: lindsey buckingham and stevie nicks of fleetwood mac

most messed up un-expected appearance/style of a rock singer son of a rock singer: roland bolan, the viper room, los angeles, california

best pop arrangement, group or duo: tears for fears, everybody loves a happy ending

coolest thing i've noticed in 2005 about a beatles recording: in the chorus of come together, during the build-up... you can hear john lennon's guitar rattling the snares on the bottom of ringo's snare drum.

thank you, and good night.

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