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LIVE FROM NEW YORK

hi... i'm the governor of new york state. i came into national prominence by implementing sweeping reforms on wallstreet... and other market entities... and i also played a major role in shutting down prostitution operations in my state.

for shits and giggles, i participated in human sex trafficking across state lines. for example... i thought it would be a really great idea to buy really expensive call girls and pay for them out of a traceable account. one time... i hired a woman from the state that i govern... to take a train to our nation's capital so that i could fuck her in really weird ways. awesome.



by the way, my family is comprised of all women. i've pretty much ruined my wife's life and my daughters are probably gonna be scarred. i just resigned from my office as governor and i gotta tell ya'... i feel pretty good today. i might even go for a jog.

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